Self-Pity: Reasons, Avoidance and Solutions?

[bomohwkl]

I have seen that it is not only me that I can recognize the existence of self-pity within me occassionally.

self-pity: a depressing feeling that I think I could done better. For whatever reasons I am tempted to go deviated.

I think figuring out the reasons why I am tempted to go deviated is very important. One of my self-pity I have is eating just very light food for dinner (eg just fruits Yorgurt, spiriulina.) Sometimes I deviated because eating nice food is an enjoyment. Restricting me from such enjoyment is a bitterment. But at the same time, I know and have done before, eating very light food will free the burden of my mind and give me very deep meditation. Probably I still cannot firmly attribute meditation yet as part of enjoyment yet? Eating nice food is fun even though advanced people say that it is a low level of fun. Will work on this. Probably people here has found their answers and dont mind sharing the information.

I have came out from another self-pity a while ago.
Sometimes, we mix with people who slowly bring you to spiritual regression. People who aren't the best company, people who think what is 'normal'. We all want acceptance from other people. If you dont behave normally they will have distorted interpretation of you and even will not accept you.Telling why to them that using FOC will make them to think about you crazy. At the end decided to have enough of self-destructive acceptance from other people. I reasoned myself why should I seek acceptance from people who stupid, who has distorted interpretation of you, who will make you less intelligent, who don't understand themselves? Is it worth to seek acceptance from people who expect you to behave like this or like that? Is it worth to seek acceptance from people who has no desire to understand you? I reason myself that even the Great Intellect doesn't seek acceptance from our human. If yes, the Great Intellect has to behave what majority of human expect it to behave. It is not the G.I who inclines to human beings, it is the human beings who are inclined to the G.I. (I think it is mentioned in the book of Thiaoouba Propehcy and it know makes so much sense.) The way I handle the situation now is to insist my choice and tell them a simple reason which can be EASILY self-verified by them in the hope to dispel the fact that I am a BORING person.

I like to stay at home after work for SELF-REFLECTION! There is so many area of improvement and need to takes time to self-examining and think of the solutions

[Zark]

One of my self-pity I have is eating just very light food for dinner (eg just fruits Yorgurt, spiriulina.) Sometimes I deviated because eating nice food is an enjoyment. Restricting me from such enjoyment is a bitterment. But at the same time, I know and have done before, eating very light food will free the burden of my mind and give me very deep meditation.

ahhh ! ... have you read T Chalko's book on "The Joy of Perfect Health" ?
He had a quote which I really liked :
"Eat breakfast yourself, share lunch with your friend, and give dinner to your enemy" -- The Joy of Perfect Health, pg 77, Tom J. Chalko

Your post reminded me so much of it that I just had to share. I have experimented with this philosophy, and I agree it is better for my health and improves my sleep. I would even go so far as to say that I think it is helping with my immune problems.. which by the way relate heavily to the state of the gut. Giving the digestive and eliminative systems (gut, kidney, liver, lymphatics) a break allowing your body to heal and the mind to clear.

cheers,
z

[Zark]

Telling why to them that using FOC will make them to think about you crazy. At the end decided to have enough of self-destructive acceptance from other people.

It can be very hard to discuss matters of the spirit. For some strange reason text seems to be an easier medium for discussing these things.

I find that if you give a person too much info at once they stop listening (whether it be physics, spiritual stuff, etc). You have to give them a little bit of info at a time.. somthing small enough for them to comprehend fully. Otherwise they might think you are off with the fairies . Same deal when the info conflicts with their perceptions of what is the truth.

Did you notice the Thaori were constantly watching Michel to see if he was comprehending their message. I thought maybe they were careful to only give as much information as we could comprehend?

[bomohwkl]

Yes, I did even go as far as water fasting last december!!!! But I have not enough will to do it even a week. Self-pity probably the reasons. People enjoying X'mas food and I fasted myself.

I did huice fasting 2 years ago for 2 weeks. It was quite successful and I was pure vegetarian but succumbed to peer pressure and study stress. So the reason why I was so succesful for the 2 weeks fasting is because.. I am almost a vegetarian at that time eating mainly salads.

I think if I want to do a water fasting..I need to eat more salads and fruits for at least 3 months before I do water-fasting.

find that if you give a person too much info at once they stop listening

I think it is not too much information..it is because they are not self-reflective temselves to start with. I find it better to resonantes their minds which can make them to be self-reflective.

[Lachie]

I feel self pity all the time. It is usually mixed with loneliness and depression. In my mind, self pity arises when I cannot translate things I know into reality... for example, being scared to ask a girl out, when I know there is nothing to fear. Knowing the right way to eat, but still having a large dinner at night.

It is a natural reaction to struggling through this world. I wouldn't worry about it bomohwkl... whenever I get depressed or whatever, I think of all the accomplishments I've done... i water fasted for about a week last december, I have been a strict vegetarian with no lapses for nearly 2 years now. I have been moderately successful in eradicating pornography from my life after being saturated and addicted to it.

So give that a try and remember what we're doing is pretty unique, and we receive very little help from people who do not understand our motives... I think thats something to be proud of.

Lachie

[Meedan]

I'd like to share with everyone a book that I think can help in all of the problems mentioned above.

It is a method of overcoming addictions, although really it can be used to overcome any negative behaviour you don't want. The book correlates closely to 'The Ego' chapter of The Freedom of Choice.

I can't recommend this book enough, it works very well.

Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey

(When it was written it was intended for alcoholics, but the author has realised that it can be used with anything)

The book's method is about re-taking control of your MIND, as opposed to only focusing on your body's addiction. The author's web site has a lot of information, but I don't want to quote the site here for two reasons. 1. I think it is a better idea to read the book first. 2. The author has made his site much more commercial recently.

I recommend this book to EVERYONE, addicted to something or not. I think of it as an expansion of 'The Ego' chapter.