Love and Forgive

[Cezyl]

I'm learning to love and forgive more y'all...

Anytime someone does something negative or hurtful, it is just because they are in pain, and doing the best they can with their given situations and knowledge. But love heals and melts away the pain. It's a challenge, for when someone is negative it excites the negativity in you. But it's not the negativity of the other person, it's your own negativity that makes you close your heart.

I am learning these things from the works of Sanaya and the works of Lyssa Royal, and I am finding them to be true in my daily life. Love makes you immune to pain.

http://www.orindaben.com
http://www.worldtrans.org/lyssa

See Spiritual Growth, and Personal Power through Awareness by Sanaya, and Fourth Density Relationships by Lyssa.

Cezyl

[Vesko]

Hi Cezyl,

There are certain words of Edgar Cayce that say:

Faults in others are first reflected in self.

I think it's true. Building on your words, you cannot be affected negatively if you don't choose to react negatively in your mind.

[Robanan]

...you cannot be affected negatively if you don't choose to react negatively in your mind

This is so true Vesko. I just had a discussion about controlling anger with my mom, your words sit right at the core of all of our arguments...a conclusion we commonly came up to agree with.

I have a question though, How much love and forgiveness should we apply regarding the case of our own children before taking a "Punishment" into consideration? Most of the time specially in our times we cannot just react passively toward different situations. I think no single post would have been made on this forum and/or the forum would not have come to existance if we all decided to just love and forgive.

I have the vague feeling that I've missed the point Cezyl was trying to make on his post.

[Aisin]

regarding Robanan's point about children's upbringing & punishment... I have no parenting experience, so my points are based on observation & thinking.

first of all, my idealistic proposal is that, in the parents' hearts, there should only be love, and no forgiveness. why no forgiveness? because the children are not here to harm/hurt the parents, they're here to love and be loved, and provide a chance for the parents to learn a lesson about parenting (in the 1st category planet). children shouldn't be blamed for faults or causing parents unhappiness in the first place, hence there's no need for forgiveness.

when, as a parent, we don't hold in our heart the child is doing wrong / something bad, then we can only view it with a neutral mind, although it seems hard to achieve. hence, whenever punishment is needed, it should not be a manifestation of the parent's anger on the child. instead, it should only be used as a disciplinary tool to assist the child to learn his lessons, that his actions bring consequences, and he's responsible for it.

that said, the 'desirable' punishment should be more targeted at results of matters due to the child's actions, instead of physical beating or scolding. the biggest lesson for the parents to learn would be patience and love.

[Leventis]

Uncoditional love and understanding is the way to go. Thats what I believe.. we often get offended by other because we lack of understanding. When someone talk to us in an aggressive matter we can get easily agitated. If we try to love them and try to understand the reason they are angry we tend to see the true reasons behind things. With understanding you see what goes behind the scenes. Meditation helps me personaly get this.

Punishing kids. Hmmmmm Such things bring rage into my mind.
I believe that we should be aware of how our actions have effects. It is a very important thing that many people forget. According to Dr.Chalo we have our choices.. Each choice has a different effect most of the times. Punishment supposedly is made in order for us to get a better understanding, or figure out what we did wrong. For those who believe in reincarnation and have read a few things about it.. We are being reincarnated in this planet because we have many things to learn from, because we have done some actions that have cause people some harm or we have disobeyd Universal Laws. Because of that we are brought into life in order to pay off our "depts" through a supposal "punishment". I believe we are here to learn and understand more. In this sense, punishment is a way of understanding...

When you come up to punish a kid though things go different. Some people beat their children some send them in their rooms some dissallow them from doing certain things.. It all depends. Think about it for a min. though. How many times when you were young you were punished and you understood why or how it made you better. What happens today is we give a punishment to a child.. Not in many cases do we spend anytime EXPLAINING, that is because we might be mad or something. You can beat someone for no reason for 3 days in a row because he broke your jar. In no case will the person understand that what he did was not right. There is no explanation or clarification in the punishments we give. In any case. What gives you the power to punish some.. who gives you this power.. why in earth do you do that? Something I understood recently is that we tend to see our parents or chilndern (I got the experience of seeing parents) as the word parent or children. Why does this clarification exist though? What we are is human beings...

To take it to the next level it doesnt' matter if you are black white, oriental, son, gay, lesbian, old, young, uncle, teacher, parent, a police man, a politic, an actor or whatever. Why do we tend to classify people like that? We need to learn to love and respect other humans for the fact that they are humans. We got to learn to respect and love each other else I don't think we ll be moving any further than where we are now.

Take the time to talk to your kid as if its a person. He/she need a lesson of understanding, explain why and how what they did was wrong. Try to reach them. Try to make them understand the level of importance. If you yeal to a kid for peeing on the floor and changing the chanel while you watch TV, at the same level of severity then the kid doesn't understand what is important and what is not.

Ouuuff.. I ll shut up now

EDIT: You might wanna give a read at the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. The section on children.

[Vesko]

Great post! I have observed that in general, parents do not get to know their children well despite spending decades with them. Yet parents, as a general rule, trumpet around about how everything they do they do it for their children. But how can you really help your children if you don't know their real needs? Why are parents so busy watching T.V., listening to the radio and reading the newspaper day after day, year after year, instead of listening to their children whose growing years are extremely important? We are so primitive.

[Cezyl]

Everyone's making some great points I say.

I do feel that 'parents' look towards their 'children' as children, because of much pain they have. I know my 'mother' for instance has much lack of self-esteem and such, thus it was a way for her to make herself feel important, by 'looking down on me', etc. "I'm the 'parent', thus I have worth". It's interesting. We're all here to learn...

Peace.

Cezyl

[Leventis]

Perfectly agree with you Vesko. I believe that most of the times they work too much. Yes they try to sustain the family and on but they end up losing the point and not being able to meet the treasures that children have. When they come from work of course they feel exhausted.. It is natural.. you can't spend so much time working and then have power to do anything else.... So then they are off to TV making their brains more stupid :p

[VeskoP]

A discussion about whether we are working too much for a living and what advice the book has about that, continues on the topic "Working Too Much for a Living?" in the "General Discussion" forum.

Of course, this topic is encouraged to continue discussing love and forgiveness.